Paperboy (NES)

Paperboy is a game that was first developed and published by Atari games in 1984. The game requires a new paperboy (the player) to deliver papers to the houses of subscribers to a local newspaper. You lose subscribers by damaging the house or failing to deliver a paper, and you must avoid dagerous obstacles (like potholes, construction workers, pedestrians, or the grim reaper...normal stuff), while both delivering papers and vandalizing the houses of non-subscribers to force them to subscribe.

First of all, WHAT? Are these people insane? Let me get this straight...they have you deliver papers to subscribers and force non-customers to subscribe by attacking their houses? Gee, I guess this paper is run by the gangs! "Oh, so these people think they can get away with not supporting the business? Why don't we pay dem a little visit, son?" "Heh heh...yeah. A little visit oughtta persuade 'em a little." That's just obscene that they make you break the windows of people not helping you to get a monopoly!

The game is ridiculous in other ways, too. Some of the things they throw at you are just plain ridiculous! They've sent out drunk people, gigantic house cats, the grim reaper (that's a new one...), and even people who used to subscribe, but who not only chase after you angrily, but also set traps for you to increase your risk of getting hurt! I feel sorry for the people who peacably try to live in this neighborhood...

In addition to being quite ridiculous, this game has the added feature of being really unreasonable. The road - as in the road you're trying to drive in - is all the way on the right of the screen, where potholes and cars come at you. This means that you're constantly taken by surprise because you have no leg room at all to try to avoid obstacles. I just find that to be a stupid way of making the game harder. They should have at least let you see the middle of the road and maneuver better to get on the sidewalk if you needed to.

In addition to all these flaws, while the game is capable of being played well, it is so unbelievably hard!! I'm gonna just say it; I am really good at video games. I can get the hang of pretty much any game with a bit of practice, and yet I did really pretty badly with this dumb route (only got like a 4 out of 10), not because I stink at NES games, but because the game arranges it so that you die almost instantly, have to dodge a stupid amount of obstacles, deal with the ridiculous placement of the camera, and throw the paper just right so that you compensate for its drifting and get it in a place that is deemed reasonable.

The only real good part about this game is that you do have the option to turn and alter your speed, so if you need to slow down and get a better aim, or if you need to outrun a giant dog (or cat, whichever it is), you can speed up and get it done pretty easily.

Despite this advantage, the game is done poorly in my opinion. It may have been fantastic if they had made the papers fly more quickly, let you see more of the road you were on, and threw slightly fewer obstacles at you. However, they didn't, and it makes the game excruciating. This game might be enjoyable for a few minutes, but it's just too unreasonable to enjoy for a long time. It does have sequels which are probably better, and you can play this game online for free if you want, but I'm not a fan.