VG Review - Shaq Fu

For the most part, I don't know a lot of fighting games that are deemed terrible to all! And if I did, then whenever I'm playing those games, it makes me wanna rage quit so hard on the floor! But now that that's out of the way, it's time to review the unholy abyss of all that is... Well, all! Shaq-Fu... Oh, God! That name makes me wanna punch things through a wall of acidic urine! That's just wrong. Well first off, Shaq Fu is this 2D fighting game that was available for the Super Nintendo Entertainment System, Sega Genesis, and even the Game Boy on October 28, 1994. Afterward, there was an Amiga port later released, but only in Europe... Is it licensing issues?! Now be aware here that fighting games may have little to no, or even quite interesting storylines, no? Well, correct! But Shaq Fu is just way miserable and constantly pathetic in terms of storyline... I'm serious, this makes Sonic 06 look badass out of nowhere!! Well the story begins with Shaquille O'Neal--- Wait! Shaquille O'Neal, btw, is a playable and quite frankly, the titular character in this piece of horse vomit... At the time I remember playing this, I rarely even knew who this guy was! I think I was around five or six at the time (now I'm 15!). But nevermind that, where was I? Oh, yes, the god awful STORYLINE!!!!!! The story begins with Shaquille O'Neal wandering into a kung fu dojo while heading to a charity basketball game in Tokyo, Japan- I GOT IT!!!! THIS LEGENDARY RETARD SHOULD'VE BEEN A SPORTS GAME!!!!!!!! Sorry for raging, folks... {clears throat} After speaking with a kung fu master, Shaq stumbles into another dimension, where he must rescue a young boy named Nezu from the evil mummy Sett-Ra--- BULLS***!!! That is the most horrible story and setting I have ever heard of! Delphine should be ashamed of themselves! Well, let's talk about the original characters in this installment: they're not bad... THEY'RE COMPLETE SICK ABOMINATIONS THAT HAVE BEEN SMOKING BONG FOR A LIFETIME!!!!! AAAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!! First off, you have this catgirl, a mummy, some ugly priest, and--- Jesus, they are horrible people! Now about the gameplay, it's just like every other 2D fighting game out there. You fight your opponent (or another player) for about two to three rounds, and then one of you are victorious! Now I may be wrong about the rounds system, however... But let us go deeper and darker into the god forsaken controls! They are uniquely broken and highly sluggish that you can't even perform any special moves, and to be honest, which game would you prefer to play despite not being in the same category?! This piece of f***, or Sonic 06, take your time! Well overall, this game just sucked bigtime and was one of the most darkest things that have ever happened to my favorite basketball star, if not one of the darkest, that is, since this is more of an understatement than anything else! Well the only good positive thing about this game is that Shaquille O'Neal's in it! I give Shaq Fu a notorious 2.5 out of 10! Really, that's what some should think this piece of vomit would get! Or maybe others would want a lower score...

Pros

 * Shaquille O'Neal's a legend and he stars as a titular character here!
 * The Sega Genesis version seems more forgiving... Need I say more?

Cons

 * The characters are what many would call, GAY !
 * Sluggish controls
 * A storyline that was made by some ignorant drunk!
 * The whole concept of this game should obviously be underrated, anyway.
 * We can never forget this game... WHY, NOT!??!?!?!?
 * Development was far too precise and not well needed, after all.